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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28567071">Stabby McStab Stab</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Author_Person/pseuds/Author_Person'>Author_Person</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Harry Potter, M/M, Violence, Work In Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:46:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28567071</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Author_Person/pseuds/Author_Person</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry finds himself with a strange ally and his life changes for the better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>121</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer<br/>Don’t own the characters, not making money. </p><p>Content Warning<br/>Contains: Underage sex (eventually,) violence, and naughty language.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry is in a truly terrible mood. He storms out of the castle rather than eat dinner. He’s not about to sit and listen to everyone’s whispers after the day he’s had.</p><p>He heads down to the lake and skips pebbles across the surface for a bit, but he’s still enraged. They’re all so stupid. Thinking he’s the heir. And now Lockhart with his disgusting Valentine’s bullshit. He drops the last pebble without bothering to throw it, turns to begin walking again, hoping that will help work off his rage, and finds himself face to face with a blond girl. He gives her a suspicious look, he’s pretty sure she’s a friend of Ginny’s. If this is about his rejection of her friend’s valentine he might just scream.</p><p>“Hello, Harry. You’re very angry right now.”</p><p>He scoffs. As if he needs to be told <em>that</em>.</p><p>“But not as angry as you should be.”</p><p>She says it in a dreamy sort of voice and then tilts her head like she’s curious about something. He’s curious too. What the hell?</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“The headmaster wants you to die, that’s why he sent you back to your relative’s house. He doesn’t want you to value yourself.”</p><p>He shakes his head in bewilderment. She must be mad, but...how did she know about that?</p><p>“Why would he want me dead?”</p><p>“Because you have a piece of Tom’s soul inside you.”</p><p>“Who the hell is Tom? And how is that possible?”</p><p>He doesn’t believe her. He doesn’t. But he’s freaked out anyway.</p><p>“The man who killed your parents. His name is Tom Riddle. He’s very hurt right now, and Dumbledore wants him dead. But you can save him.”</p><p>He stares at the girl. Trying to figure how to politely tell her he doesn’t want to save Voldemort, while also wondering about the fact the diary he found is apparently <em>Voldemort’s</em>. He settles on.</p><p>“He tried to kill me last year...”</p><p>She cuts him off in her dreamy voice.</p><p>“Because he’s mad right now. His soul is in pieces, the largest is in a diary and he’ll be using it to come back soon, but Dumbledore will kill him without your help.”</p><p>He pushes his glasses up and rubs his eyes, while sighing. How is this his life? He decides to play along for now.</p><p>“Say I do save him. What then?”</p><p>“You marry him.”</p><p>He blinks at her for a long moment before laughing. God that does sound like something that would happen to him. And also kind of amazing. People would <em>really</em> be convinced he was evil after that. He’s beginning to be tempted.</p><p>“Alright then. Explain how this works. How do I save him?”</p><p>He listens attentively. Occasionally laughing at the absurdity of her plan. But he has to admit she makes good points. And the fact she can see the future makes him trust her. She still seems crazy but he thinks anyone would be if they could see every possible future at once. Which is a completely insane thing to even contemplate but she knows so much about things she couldn’t know otherwise that he can’t help but believe her. He has one question he <em>really</em> needs an answer to before he agrees to this insanity though.</p><p>“Why that particular <em>weapon</em>?”</p><p>“I like the word.”</p><p>He stares at her for a moment, then snorts. Well it’s as good a reason as any he supposes, and she did confirm it would work for their purposes. He looks up at the stars for a moment, then nods decisively at her.</p><p>“Okay. So I’ll sneak out of the castle tonight and use the floo in the Hogshead to floo to Gringotts.”</p><p>He can’t believe he’s going to do this but it’s better than the alternative futures she outlined. He thanks Luna for her help and watches as she walks away, still looking dreamy and uninterested in the world around her.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>He floos directly into Gringotts and heads for the offices in the back. Apparently the third one along deals with commissions. He knocks on the door and waits. The goblin inside invites him in and he sits nervously. According to Luna if he doesn’t handle this just right the man will refuse and they’ll have to get it another, much more difficult, way.</p><p>He explains what he wants, but not <em>why</em> he wants it, and waits anxiously for the man’s decision. Trying not to look as foolish as he feels.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Korek stares at the small human child, he briefly considers the little beast is requesting such a thing as an insult, but he can see that isn’t the case. The boy truly wants the item, he refuses to even think the word, and for some reason he wants it to be made by them. He closes his eyes for a moment. He cannot believe he’s going to agree to something so degrading, it’s going to become an heirloom passed from generation of goblins to generation of goblins. He hopes his future offspring don’t hold this against him. He sighs. And agrees.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>He can’t believe it. He smiles brightly at the rather cranky goblin and thanks him profusely.</p><p>“It will take a few days to complete, you may return for it or if you would prefer it can be mailed to you.”</p><p>Luna never mentioned...damn it. He supposes she can’t hold his hand for everything, she may not even see every tiny detail, but he worries about making the wrong choice.</p><p>“By mail would be great. Not sure I can sneak out again without getting caught. Thank you again Korek. For everything.”</p><p>The man growls out a farewell and he heads back to Hogwarts, breathing a sigh of relief when he makes it into the tower with no problems.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>The next morning Luna bumps into him in the hall, literally. He gives her a bewildered look while steadying her so she doesn’t fall.</p><p>“Sorry, Harry, I think I may have contracted nargles, or perhaps I wasn’t paying enough attention. It’s hard to say.”</p><p>He nods as if he knows exactly what she means, because he doesn’t know what else to do, and they head toward the Great Hall together. Ron and Hermione both look at him as if he’s mad for wanting to be around the girl, who seems a bit mad herself. He shrugs and they don’t say anything.</p><p>Luna sits with them at the Gryffindor table and halfway through breakfast, while Ron and Hermione are distracted bickering about something, she leans close and whispers.</p><p>“Did you have it mailed?”</p><p>He nods and she smiles, it’s a vague dreamy smile, as he would expect, but there’s something about it that makes it seem almost...bloodthirsty. He wonders what he changed by making the decision he did. But decides it doesn’t really matter. It’s too late to worry about it now and he can’t ask her at the moment anyway. Not here where other people could overhear. Speaking of, he pulls the diary out of his bag now that he’s done eating and begins flipping through the blank pages, wondering about the man who it belonged to. His future husband apparently. He’s not sure how he feels about <em>that</em> part of their plans, he loves how freaked out everyone will be, but he isn’t sure about the whole being married to a man part. He has a feeling people are going to be nasty about it, but according to Luna they’ll be happy together so he supposes everyone else can go hang.</p><p>He catches Ginny staring out of the corner of his eye and forces himself not to smile. Step two completed successfully. He wonders why they need Ginny to <em>steal</em> it back. Why not just give it to her? But he shrugs it off. He’s sure he’ll find out soon enough.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Korek cannot believe he agreed to the creation of such an item. What was he thinking? He’ll be lucky if he manages to keep his head once the higher ups find out. To try and prevent that he will have to make the damn thing himself. Not like he could convince anyone else to do it anyway, no one will want their name attached to this debacle.</p><p>He sneaks down to one of the extra forges which are rarely used, he rather hopes they won’t ever be used again since they’re only used in wartime, and begins the long process of heating it.</p><p>Once it’s finally hot enough he begins the tedious process of creating the item. It’s unlike anything he’s ever made before and he isn’t sure how to go about making it at first. It takes four attempts to get it just right, he would be tempted to do a less than perfect job but that would only guarantee he’d be beheaded.</p><p>He cleans up the forge and puts the various tools back in their places, then turns to go, the finished item held in his hand. And stares straight into his lover’s eyes. Fuck. Gordred glances down at the item, his eyes widening, and says.</p><p>“<em>Why</em>?”</p><p>The man looks and sounds utterly disgusted. He winces.</p><p>“It was a commission, which I approved. I know I shouldn’t have, I can’t even explain why I did it, but now I’m hoping no one will notice. Or at least not right away.”</p><p>Gordred shakes his head at him and pulls him into a kiss.</p><p>“I love you, but you’re an idiot. How are they <em>not</em> going to notice?”</p><p>He tucks his face into his lover’s shoulder and grumbles.</p><p>“You think anyone will want to pass this along to the higher ups?”</p><p>“True, but your supervisor at least will know exactly who is to blame for this. It’s not like anyone else could’ve approved it.”</p><p>He nods mournfully. He knows that very well. He’s dreading that conversation. Gordred pulls back and gives him an exasperated look.</p><p>“Well let’s go home and see about getting some dinner. That’s why I came looking for you, you were supposed to cook tonight, remember?”</p><p>Shit. He gives his lover an apologetic look, but the man just smiles fondly. They head for home together, the item tucked safely away in a pocket where no one else will see it.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>A couple days later Ginny trashes their dorm room and steals it back. Luna looks more dreamy than usual that day.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>The day after that a package arrives while he’s eating breakfast. He hastily makes room for the owl and feeds it a strip of bacon. Then removes the parcel from it’s leg and shoves it into his bag. He brushes off the questions his friends pepper him with. He’s not about to risk their plan by breathing a word about his new <em>weapon</em>.</p><p>He smirks at Luna when she catches his eye from the Ravenclaw table. She holds up her spoon and waves it at him and he laughs. Ron and Hermione both give him odd looks but he ignores them both.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Step three will be a bit more time consuming according to Luna, so they postpone it till that weekend. He follows her as she makes her winding way through the castle. He could swear they’ve doubled back twice now, but she’s the one with magical foresight so he doesn’t say anything.</p><p>She finally stops and opens a door. To a girls bathroom. He blinks a few times before shrugging and following her in. She leads him over to a sink and points to a tiny etching on the side of the tap. He squints down at the rough drawing of a snake.</p><p>“What about it?”</p><p>“You have to ask it to open the door for us.”</p><p>That seems weird but this is a magical castle so he turns back to the snake and says.</p><p>“Could you please open the door for us?”</p><p>Luna giggles and says.</p><p>“Try again, but this time really ask the snake.”</p><p>He gives her a confused look, but then his eyes widen in understanding. He needs to speak in parseltongue. He turns back toward the snake and imagines that it’s real and that it will hear him when he asks. And repeats himself. There’s a grinding sound of stone on stone and the sink moves aside. He can’t help but ask.</p><p>“Couldn’t you have just said to speak parseltongue?”</p><p>She just shrugs then walks over to the opening and hops into it with no hesitation. He stares at the yawning opening, not quite certain about this idea, but he steels himself and follows.</p><p>The tunnel is dark and damp, and seemingly endless. He has plenty of time on the way down to wonder if he’s going to be injured when he reaches the bottom, as much as he trusts Luna not to purposely harm him, she’s just odd enough that she might not consider him breaking his leg to be something she needs to warn him about. But the tunnel evens out a bit and his descent slows before he reaches the bottom. It comes out into a larger tunnel full of small animal bones and a layer of slime. Which he ends up covered in. Nasty.</p><p>It’s so dark in the tunnel he’s almost blinded when Luna casts a lumos. She bends down and begins sorting through the bones and he snorts.</p><p>“Planning to make some new jewelry?”</p><p>She nods and pockets a few of the bones. He shakes his head at her, he can’t wait to see people’s reactions when they realize what she’s wearing. She wanders off down the tunnel and he follows, pulling his own wand and lighting the tip as well.</p><p>There’s nothing particularly interesting at first but eventually they come across a snake skin. The world’s largest snake skin. He stops beside Luna who is examining it with interest and gives her an incredulous look.</p><p>“What the hell is that from? And tell me we aren’t here to see it.”</p><p>It looks large enough to swallow them without having to unhinge it’s jaw.</p><p>Luna starts off down the tunnel again, reassuring him, at least he thinks that’s what she’s trying to do, if so it doesn’t work very well.</p><p>“She won’t harm us, and we need her venom. Also that skin is quite old, she’s grown a lot since then.”</p><p>Damn. He knew they would be using a snake’s venom for their <em>weapon</em>. But he hadn’t realized it would be from a snake large enough to eat an elephant. He wonders why they don’t simply use <em>her</em> to kill the old fool.</p><p>They come upon a door and he has to ask another snake carving to open the door for them. The door opens and they enter the room beyond. He shakes off his trepidation. He trusts Luna. Mostly.</p><p>They walk through the massive room, filled with puddles and not much else. Luna leads him over to a statue and has him say an extremely stupid phrase to it, while pretending it’s a snake. He wonders at who would pick that for the password of anything, he has a hard time believing it was Slytherin himself who picked it, the man may have been known for his pride but no one said anything about narcissism. But he shakes off his annoyance and says it.</p><p>The mouth of the statue opens and a massive snake pours out of it. Luna calmly informs him.</p><p>“Don’t look at her eyes or you’ll die.”</p><p>He stares down at the floor wishing he had a better accomplice, one who explained things in advance. Like what kind of snake can kill you with it’s eyes and why they need this particular snake’s venom. He tries to hand Luna the <em>weapon</em> but she doesn’t take it, she simply says.</p><p>“Ask her for her help.”</p><p>He stares at the body of the snake, refusing to look any higher and says.</p><p>“Could we please have some of your venom?”</p><p>He’s half expecting the snake to give it to them, in a fatal way, but she slithers closer and hisses.</p><p>“Yes, tiny speaker.”</p><p>She lowers her head and opens it right in front of him. He realizes he was right about her being large enough to swallow him without even having to unhinge her jaw. He tries to ignore the fact he can actually smell her above the smell of the room itself. He quickly holds out the spork and presses it against one massive fang, the snake pressing down a bit and releasing some venom. He watches, a bit nervously, as the venom creeps closer. He has a feeling even absorbed through his skin it would be enough to kill him. It touches the metal of the spork and he pulls it away a moment later. Breathing a sigh of relief at having survived this encounter, so far anyway. He’s not convinced the snake won’t change her mind and eat them anyway, but Luna tells him what to tell the snake and the snake obeys their command, retreating back into the statue which closes behind her. He finally feels like he can breathe again. He follows Luna back toward the tunnel but wonders.</p><p>“How are we going to get back up?”</p><p>Luna tilts her head at him, like he’s not making sense.</p><p>“We’ll ask for help of course.”</p><p>She wanders off down the tunnel without explaining further and he curses under his breath as he follows.</p><p>When they reach the opening of the tunnel Luna does in fact simply ask, seemingly the air.</p><p>“Could you take us back up to the bathroom?”</p><p>But there’s a pop beside them and he stares down at a house elf he’s never met before. He thinks it’s a girl, but he can’t say why he thinks that.</p><p>There’s another pop and all three of them are in the bathroom again. He hurries to thank the girl before she can pop away.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Her eyes widen and she smiles brightly before popping away.</p><p>He turns to find Luna giving him a fond smile.</p><p>“You’re kinder than most. That’s why I’m helping you you know. Because if I don’t that kindness will whither away from the way everyone treats you.”</p><p>He grimaces and nods. He could easily see that happening.</p><p>They go over the next part of their plan and then go their separate ways for the day. He can’t wait to go shower off the smell of that room.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Korek hands over the report on that week’s commissions, wishing there had been more so that the item would perhaps be overlooked. But with how few there were it’s only a matter of time before...the man starts grumbling under his breath and he forces himself not to cringe.</p><p>Hurlok levels a deadly glare at him. The man is breathing hard with fury. He demands.</p><p>“Why? Why would you approve such a thing? And who created it?”</p><p>“I, I did sir. I don’t know why I agreed. It...seemed like a good idea at the time?”</p><p>He tried to sound confident but by the end he lost his nerve. Hurlok looks pissed. He needs to do some damage control but he isn’t sure how. He blurts out.</p><p>“It was the Potter boy who asked.”</p><p>Hurlok glances down at the parchment and grimaces.</p><p>“While he <em>will</em> one day be the lord of both the Potter and Black estates as of now he is only a child. Somehow I doubt we’ll be able to keep this quiet till he comes of age, but we’ll damn well try.”</p><p>He sighs a relieved breath. He just might get away with this. But then his supervisor opens his mouth again, glaring fiercely at him.</p><p>“You aren’t off the hook yet. I’m going to make your life hell for this little stunt.”</p><p>Fuck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry follows Luna as she heads into the forest, wondering what it is they’re doing, and if he really has to be here for this. He’s not looking forward to going back in there after the last experience with Voldemort. Which damn, he keeps being hit with the realization that he’s going to marry Voldemort. He’s not sure he’s ever going to be able to wrap his head around it. Luna’s voice floats back to him from where she’s almost skipping ahead of him.</p><p>“You should try thinking of him as Tom instead. He won’t be the same as he was before.”</p><p>He shakes his head exasperatedly.</p><p>“Are you sure you can’t just read minds?”</p><p>She giggles and then stops and turns, looking into the trees while tilting her head.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>She ignores him. Simply walks off into the brush at the side of the path. He groans, but follows. He has a feeling this isn’t going to go well.</p><p>But they barely walk any distance at all before they come across the reason they’re out here, or so he assumes. Luna begins plucking berries off a bush.</p><p>“What are they for?”</p><p>“They’re the loose thread that unravels the whole.”</p><p>He gives her a confused look, not that she notices, too busy collecting berries. He plucks one himself and examines it, it looks strange, and rather gross. He sighs when he realizes she seems to be planning to carry them back in her hand. He digs through his bag and pulls a small measuring cup out of his potions kit in his bag. He hands it to her and she beams at him.</p><p>“Thank you, Harry. You’re quite useful to have around.”</p><p>“Is there a reason you didn’t bring something to carry them in yourself?”</p><p>Her eyes go more dreamy than usual. She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, then she focuses on him and he feels like he’s being examined. She stares at him for so long he wonders if she’s ever going to stop, then.</p><p>“I can’t tell you yet. But soon.”</p><p>He blinks, bewildered once again. He feels like he should be used to her oddnesses by now, but he isn’t. He wonders what the reason could possibly be. He examines her in return, trying to figure it out. But her calmly collecting berries tells him nothing so he shakes it off for now and begins helping her again.</p><p>It takes a while, the berries are tiny, but they eventually have a full cup of them. He’s rather hoping she’ll explain <em>now</em>, but she doesn’t.</p><p>They head back to the castle together, Luna chattering about creatures that may, or may not, exist.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Korek gulps when he sees Hurlok entering his office. Fuck. He hopes the man isn’t still furious with him. His hopes are dashed almost immediately. Hurlok fixing him with a glare, a rather tired and defeated one, but still.</p><p>“Yarbeg knows. I couldn’t keep it from him any longer. He’s going to try his damndest to keep the information from traveling any farther. Thinks he might be able to save his own hide that way. He is <em>not</em> doing it to protect you and I would suggest you avoid him, he’s pissed beyond description at the moment...just fuck, we very well might all be facing the ax for this.”</p><p>He grimaces and Hurlok gives him an almost sympathetic look. But then he shakes his head, his face going hard again.</p><p>“You’re still going to be punished for this. It may be the only way to save us all. I talked with those arseholes over in the labor department, without explaining what you did to warrant it, but you’re being demoted back to cart runner.”</p><p>Fuck, no. He shakes his head, on the point of begging for another, lesser, punishment. But Hurlok shakes his own head sadly.</p><p>“It’s the only way, and it won’t be for long. I spoke to Gordred for you. He understood.”</p><p>He nods stoically and waits till his supervisor leaves to break down, a little. Fuck but they had plans. Gordred is going to murder him.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Luna pulls him aside the next day and says brightly.</p><p>“Today is a good day for spotting blibbering humdingers.”</p><p>He nods slowly and tries not to laugh. Damn, Luna picks some strange code words, and the fact she doesn’t bother explaining them in advance...he assumes she means today is when he’ll have an opportunity to get to Dumbledore but he isn’t actually sure. He reminds himself that he trusts her.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>It isn’t until just after dinner that he sees the opportunity Luna was referring to, Dumbledore walking down the same hall he is, but distracted, seemingly...drunk? The man starts muttering to himself, something about someone being a nasty goatfucker and he has to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Holy shit, he’s not drunk at all, he’s pretty sure the man is high. He cannot believe Luna got the man high. He quickly rifles through his bag till he finds the case he’s been carrying the spork in, then carefully opens it, the last thing he needs to do is accidentally cut himself. He grips the thing tightly and then glances around frantically but there aren’t any portraits in this hallway. He walks up to the man slowly and waits for an opportunity. Dumbledore is staggering drunkenly from one side of the hall to the other, he almost trips over his own feet and braces himself on the wall. Harry strikes. He stabs the man in the wrist where his sleeve has fallen down, he wasn’t sure the damn thing would cut through his clothing with it’s tiny teeth, this way he can see that it’s hit home. He yanks his arm back and stumbles back a step as Dumbledore turns toward him, for a moment he almost seems lucid but then he falls to his knees, reaching for someone who isn’t there, crying.</p><p>“Ariana.”</p><p>Harry wonders what <em>that’s</em> about, but then shakes it off. Doesn’t matter. He has other things to worry about. Like getting the fuck out of here and hiding the weapon, for now. He has a feeling he’ll be using it again sooner rather than later. Something about the way Luna wouldn’t answer his question the other day.</p><p>He brushes that off for now as well and turns back just as he reaches the end of the hall. He blinks at the sight of Dumbledore already lying there, sprawled across the floor with his mouth hanging open, a small trickle of blood trailing down from his mouth. Damn, he’s going to be even more careful in future if the shit is that fast acting. He whirls round and makes his way rapidly back toward the tower.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Korek hesitates before entering their home for the first time, he doesn’t know which will be worse, if Gordred is angry, or simply upset. He steels himself for the sight of his lover’s tears and opens the door. He blinks at the sight of Gordred laughing with another goblin.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>Gordred beams and rises at once to greet him. Leaning close and pretending to kiss him on the cheek while whispering.</p><p>“Love you.”</p><p>He doesn’t know what this is but Gordred sounds amused and not unhappy in any way, which is as much of a relief as it is a shock.</p><p>Gordred pulls him by the hand and has him sit, then fetches another glass and pours him a glass before refilling their own.</p><p>“Yarbeg was just telling me all about his efforts to keep your little mistake secret.”</p><p>His eyes widen in panic, then flick down to the glass in his hand. Gordred laughs and nudges him to drink.</p><p>“It’s not poisoned. He actually came by to offer us an alliance.”</p><p>He blinks in confusion and the man begins explaining. He listens, while watching his lover, the man looks happier than he’s seen him in a while. He’s so focused on his lover’s expression he only half catches the last sentence and he gasps out.</p><p>“<em>What</em>?”</p><p>Yarbeg laughs and repeats himself.</p><p>“We want to give you our place in the program. My husband and I want kids but not just yet, he’s determined to climb higher up first and kids would make that next to impossible. But our parents are insistent. We’ve managed to put them off in the past but we’re running out of excuses. I actually gave Hurlok the idea to demote you that far, although he thinks it was out of anger and not concern. It’s for the best if no one realizes I’m not furious with you, or they might get suspicious about why I’m not.”</p><p>“Why aren’t you?”</p><p>“What you did was...beyond idiotic, but I’ve seen others get away with worse mistakes, just because they knew the right goblins. I don’t think anyone should be killed for a mistake at any rate. The demotion should keep you safe and you won’t have to wait until this blows over to have kids, not if you accept my help.”</p><p>Oh fuck no wonder Gordred is so happy right now.</p><p>“Your parents..?”</p><p>Yarbeg laughs again.</p><p>“My bearer was born with a slight deformity, not anything that affected his ability to work, and to work well, but it was enough to bar him from the program. They would never have been able to conceive if they hadn’t been gifted a place by another couple, so they can’t exactly complain if we do the same. Still I doubt we’ll be able to get away with this a fourth time in a row.”</p><p>The man sighs and then laughs again.</p><p>“But enough about my problems. This is a celebration.”</p><p>He can’t argue with that. He pulls his lover into a kiss and then they begin drinking and chatting with their new friend. He can’t believe they don’t have to wait any longer, it’s been decades of trying to earn a place. He hates the bullshit limit on how many goblins can be born each year. He understands they only have so much space, but...it needs to change. They need to create better expansion charms or something. This has gone on too long. He feels a touch to his ankle and gives his lover a smile. He can’t wait to see the man round with a child or two.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>He tracks Luna down the next morning. No easy feat with everyone in an uproar over the old fool’s death, they haven’t even managed to have breakfast made on time, apparently the house elves are upset for some reason. He finds Luna just outside the entrance hall, staring up into the sky as if she can see something other than clouds. She’s staring so intently he finds himself staring up as well in spite of himself, he’s half expecting to actually see something, but no, just clouds. He shakes off the momentary madness and asks.</p><p>“<em>How</em>?”</p><p>She smiles widely. Looking for once perfectly normal, or she would if she didn’t look <em>quite</em> so gleeful. That expression would look perfectly at home on someone covered in blood spatter.</p><p>“He’s always had a fondness for raspberry jam.”</p><p>That doesn’t explain much but this is Luna so he shrugs and accepts that. She must have used his jam to disguise the flavor of the berries, which were hallucinogenic or something. That’s probably why the elves are upset, they think it’s their fault, which seems a bit mean.</p><p>“Why would you do that to the elves?”</p><p>Her smile turns slightly vicious.</p><p>“There’s a great many old laws that no one gets rid of. Usually out of laziness. It’s easier to just ignore them.”</p><p>She finally looks down from the sky and her eyes are filled with madness.</p><p>“Clothes shall be given to any elf suspected of harming a magical human.”</p><p>He’s just opening his mouth to ask what she’s done, although he doubts he would get a decent answer, when a horrible sound pours out from inside the castle. He glances through the doors but doesn’t see anything so he looks back at Luna to find her grinning at the sky again. She looks as insane as everyone claims she is, but she also looks...like a powerful witch who just succeeded in casting a curse on a village or something. He shakes his head and wanders inside to see what the noise is about.</p><p>He blinks at the sight of a bunch of house elves, all clutching various pieces of clothing and wailing. He blinks round at them all. Wondering why they’re so upset about being free.</p><p>He kneels down to try and comfort a particularly small one. But the boy just sobs louder. He notices a bunch of ministry people in a group near the head table and strides over, pissed as hell. He gets within shouting distance, which is pretty close with the racket the elves are making, and demands.</p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?”</p><p>They all turn and stare at him for a moment. One of them almost sneering, but the others look various shades of ashamed. Good. They should be. Making a bunch of people cry for no reason. The sneering one starts to open his mouth, probably to be an arsehole, but one of the others shushes him and steps forward.</p><p>“I’m Auror Shacklebolt. We’re here on ministry orders. It’s standard protocol in a case like this, the elves have to be given clothes...”</p><p>He cuts the man off angrily.</p><p>“So you’re just going to ignore the fact you’re upsetting them all?! And why are they upset about being freed? What kind of shit is that?”</p><p>The man sighs.</p><p>“Mm, I’ve never understood it either. The sad thing is when they leave here they’ll search for new owners. I’ve been working on my own family’s house elves for years now, trying to convince them they would like freedom if they only gave it a chance. Hasn’t worked yet.”</p><p>He stares out over the hall filled with dozens upon dozens of house elves. He can’t let them end up in abusive households like Dobby. He can’t.</p><p>“I want them. How do I claim them? Or buy them, or whatever?”</p><p>He cringes even as he says it, god this is fucked up. But he’ll bring them round to wanting to be free later. For now he needs to keep them safe.</p><p>Shacklebolt raises his eyebrows at him. He quickly explains about Dobby and his owners treating him so badly and the man nods seriously.</p><p>“Well they don’t belong to anyone but themselves at the moment. So it’s up to them.”</p><p>Good. He stares out at them all, wondering how to go about announcing his plan when none of them are going to hear him. Shacklebolt solves the problem for him by doing something to amplify his voice and announcing it for him.</p><p>There’s a moment where none of them seem to comprehend what the man is saying and then he finds himself being mobbed by a bunch of teary elves. He has no idea what to do, he tries patting one or two on the back, but they just cry harder.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>An hour later, he’s sitting and eating, surrounded by enough food to feed at least a dozen people. He tries to eat a little bit of everything, and he assures his new elves that it’s all delicious, he doesn’t want to disappoint any of them by not trying the thing they made for him. But there’s apparently eighty-six of them and he can’t possibly eat even a tenth of this. Which they seem to realize but also seem to be hoping he’ll pull out some kind of charm or something which will allow him to do just that. He has no idea if there is such a spell and he really doesn’t want to know, or he’d end up feeling bad when he doesn’t use it.</p><p>He sighs as he takes another bite of something else, and makes sure to make it seem delicious, which it is, but this is becoming a chore and he’s getting full.</p><p>Luna comes to his rescue by announcing, in an airy manner, as if she’s talking to herself, that the other students need to eat breakfast too and would appreciate if Harry shared. He nods enthusiastically, and his new elves get to work providing breakfast like usual, about three hours late.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I won’t be able to reply to comments for the foreseeable future. Sorry for the inconvenience.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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